Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes You should probably get yourself checked.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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hi

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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This is a joke.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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