How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much... and after being married for 39 years... They get divorced

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What is the difference between a car accident and being on your period? A period is less bloody.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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