the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

Click here to end the world.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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