Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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what did the black guy get from churches chicken? fried chicken.

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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What Do you call a black priest? Holy shit!

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Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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And Stephen Hawking said.

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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