Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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