What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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So a jew walks into a bar!

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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