Two black guys are seen running out of a convenient store. They've just received word that two planes crashed into the twin towers, both their sons worked maintenance on the 73rd floor.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm going to murder you Did you look behind you?

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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