A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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What do you call 100 dead babies in my garage? Murder.

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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Boob

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Justin Bieber

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Q- what did the magician say after the sawed the woman in half ? A- call an ambulance !

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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