A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

thumb_up thumb_down -34

(warning- this is sort of funny) A mom takes her son to cvs to pick up her pills. Son- Mom whats a pharmacists? Mom- well sweetie its a person who sells people drugs Monday Morning Teacher- Class, did you learn anything over the weekend? Son- Yah, i learned that my mommy has been taking me with her every week, to a person who sells drugs Later that week Teacher- Yes, hi, um your son has told me that you take him to buy drugs with you, i may have to call social services Mom- what? this is a misunderstanding, i go to a pharmacists to buy drugs. That evening Mom-what did you tell your teacher at school Son- you've been telling me that i go with you to buy drugs Mom- baby i need pills, well, because, im sick. Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok At school Teacher- Billy ive called s.s on your mom, u will be living with foster parents Son- ohhhhhhhhhhhh ok Evening Police- ?Ms. Thackery, is this your student. Teacher- Yes Police- His mom has tradgicly died in a pool of tears after finding out YOU called s.s Mom- what? omg. DAMN Police- Im afraid u r under arrest for the cause of his mothers death Class- yayyyyyyy wooo hooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Billy Billy Billy Billy. hip hip hooray Teacher- Damn Son- mommy? Police- ur mommy's dead, sucks right sooooooo here's a box and ten bucks......... go live your life

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you have, if you have fists the can kill someone in one punch? Hulk's DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Atheism

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: Why is there never sun beaming at the castle? A: Because the castle is full of knights.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops