Q: Why is little Timmy living without his parents? A: He is ninety seven years old!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A car walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the woman drown in the bathtub? Her husband was holding her under.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man say to his doctor?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Stephen Hawking say to the prostitute? A several garbled and mostly inaudible comment that she could not understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops