How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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There's an Irishman, a homo-sexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community!

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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why cant women draw perfect circles? no one can becouse it is virtually impossible

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops