Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

Q: What do you call a gay man in a... A: Keith.

hear hear

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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