Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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how do you win a game try your best

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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Cheese

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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