What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

thumb_up thumb_down +15

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops