What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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A black person in the NHL

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to she him rocking and rocking on it.(:

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops