What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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women's rights.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot, racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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