Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats black and strange a paki

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't february march Because april may

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops