There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +1

RACIST JOKE: how to start a footrace in ghana role a donut down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

me and joey are going to watch the football game, at this point you relize you shouldn't hang out with joey and the other guy because it is joey and I not me and joey

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call a cripple Biv

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

every knight i see an owl at window

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

thumb_up thumb_down +1

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops