What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

make me a sandwich! what kind?

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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