- Anti Joke

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

You know what's worse than having a terrible boss? Being unemployed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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