i have yougurt mit traktor

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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What? Huh?

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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su algato es en fuego

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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Large 4

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Nobody knows as humans are unable to understand the way dogs communicate.

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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