A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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What's the different between a blond and a brunette? Blondes taste better when cut into small pieces and fried in a skillet.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

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A hill billy went fishing

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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