what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down

God made rivers God made lakes God made you We all make misstakes

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

thumb_up thumb_down

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

thumb_up thumb_down

so your snowboarding in the dessert and all four of your tires pop. how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house. the answer is B. 500 squids

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down

Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down

yo mama's so fat, that he doctors are slightly worried that she may be suffering from type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down

an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops