- Anti Joke

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" pewpew

Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

Whats funnier than 24.....25

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!