How did the black guy survive from drowning? Years of Swimming lessons at his local YMCA

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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What is the good thing about having sex with KL..... Nothing because she is a fat man

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This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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KOOKABURRA

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops