Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Dave:Hi Mark:Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops