-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

Roses are red. Violets are red. Your garden's on fire.

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

Something told me to write "vote pancakes" so I wrote "Vote Pancakes" it said it was wrong, and now I know why, capitals.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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