Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -11

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

ok last night i found a pic of romney saying "if i win the election 8 million people will have no job" then Obama says hey romney now that i won the election it would be 8 million and one stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops