Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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What happens when a right turn is finally made in NASCAR? The driver has successfully changed his tires and has been refueled, now he is pulling out of pit lane.

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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One man was interested in purchasing poultry. He found it was as very wise investment in that he enjoyed the resulting pleasure immensely.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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There are ten million million million million million million million million million million million sub-atomic particles in the universe that we can observe. Your mamma took the ugly ones and put them into one nerd...

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Nero: Farewell to my past last part aka No more forced psychiatric evaluations for me. My psychiatric evaluator asked me why I consider myself a souless demon and not a man. My answer was: My mothers name was Maria, my brothers name is Kristoffer and my real father (which I only met once which was meaningless) is a Chatolic priest. Then I showed her (my psychiatric evaluator) my passport, my name is not Nero Angelo, nor whatever my parents might have told others but rather Angelo Nero. So lets conclude shall we? Nero Angelo = Angel black. and some Capcom shit. Angelo Nero = Says on my birth certificate, means Black Angel. Kristoffer= The sacrifice of Christ my half brother. Ricardo my non real father = which has nothing to do with Josef... Thank F*CK! So yeah, some of you might recognize me, but I have not met any family members the last 16 years, so if you where planing to judge me the next time you see me, you better run instead, because I will... "pacify" you for just watching while my parents waterboarded me, for just standing there while my mother tried excorzise me away while beating the crap out of me. I WILL "remove you, forever" the only family I got, are my 2.755 or so members of my movement Neronism, and my wife`s family, this is not a threat.... ...Its a promise to me, and to you. Make no mistake though, Neronism has over 60.000 members worldwide, but I dont care about them, enough is enough. Maria: My birthmother which claimed long before I was born that she was a virgin and as thus that she was giving birth to the anti-christ. (me, thanks mom) Then my psychiatric evaluator asked me if I truly believed I was a demon, where I told her that "human" is just a term, and that I know that calling myself a demon is just a way of coping with my past. She suggested that now that my troubles/parents are over/dead, that my need for her or anyone evaluating me further is over and she jokingly rated me a 100 percent "fresh" when I asked her if I was still a rotten tomato, so I am officially out from the "realm" of psychiatry (which I was forced to after killing my father in self defense). Its been fucking 27 years since, bt finally I am fucking happy... And the hell if there is humanity left in me... >:) M.Biso... I mean Nero. Merry christmas everybody, I know mine is not so bad after all... ill probably spend more time here, but farewell for now, and finally I can scratch the shit out of my ortopedic arm without getting PTSD`s of my non real father tearing my head off... AAAAAAAAAND all is good... Except the fucking itch...

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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