Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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69

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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rent a cops

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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