When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man at school the janitor

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A dog was barking at a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Some home health supplies. He really needed them, too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops