Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -63

how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the hamster run around the wheel.? Because he lived in a small cage and had nothing better to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

thumb_up thumb_down +44

So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops