when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

Why did William go home. His mother called and they were having a potroast

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

Whats green and tasty? Snot

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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