My life

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? George Washington. George Washington who? George Washington Carver.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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wanna hear a joke? no

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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