What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +66

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Hoocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you make a clown stop smiling? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The joke below me is retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops