what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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Popsicles

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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