Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

I am the sun. You are the moon.

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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