A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have AIDS, Now you do too!

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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