Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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The joke below me is retarded

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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