Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

thumb_up thumb_down +95

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down +53

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

thumb_up thumb_down +45

why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Womens Basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops