Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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What's similar between a flamingo and a rhino? They're both pink...except the rhino

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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what is the difference of left and right? i used my right hand to stab your mother.

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Gay jokes are a real pain in the butt.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

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Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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how do u get a clown to stop smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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Who's fat? Holly Davis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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