Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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So its 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar....I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ends up getting nuked.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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I like boys!!!!! CC

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops