Your mother is so fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Womens rights

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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whats the difference between valium and m & ms ? one is,nt a tasty little chocolate

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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