Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

Why did the tree fall? I cut it.

A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

lebron

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

Gale swallows.

womens sports...

knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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