What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Obama.

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What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Women are like puzzles. Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don't

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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