19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? cuz she was blind

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what does a jew want most for hanukkah? presents

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Q: Why cant dinosaurs talk A: Because they are dead.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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