What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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The NBA lockout

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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Itookasipasoda

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66

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What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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i have cancer

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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I like turtoes.

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Hi Adam,

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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