Swag.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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Miami Heat.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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An old man gets into a van with two little boys. They are his grandsons.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops