What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Q: What's the Difference between Judaism and Catholicism? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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