A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What's black, white,and red all over? A crime scene where a black and white man were brutally murdered by a psychopath that is still on the loose and could be killing someone else.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Christians

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Brian. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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If thin people skinny dip, what do fat people do? Sink

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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