A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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