Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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Miami Heat.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Why do u call a book a book??? Cause it is a book!!!

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

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whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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Where did all the time go? In a recent study, 100% of all time, all systems go.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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