What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops